i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
