problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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