woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
