Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
