you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
