May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
