The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
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It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
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Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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