Please don't use social media to get back at me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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