winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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