My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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