Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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