Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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