you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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