he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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