just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
