he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
