glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i barfeds in our rink
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize