I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
