Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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