I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
