His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
