Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
