everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
