He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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