I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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