i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize