What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
