the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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