is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
