I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
