Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
