ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
