Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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