he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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