You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
