Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
