Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
