how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
