I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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