You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
