So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
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Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
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Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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