It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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