Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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