break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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