I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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