Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
