i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
