Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He better not be in your backpack
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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