Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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