She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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