Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
