I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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