I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
