i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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