when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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