hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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