I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
