She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
