He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
