shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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