operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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