Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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