I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
