He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You work out of a Hotel?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
