i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Watching her eat just hurts me
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Randomize
